Lost Rites of Passage

i needed my papa to teach me to scream to the abyss

i needed him to hold me while I freaked the fuck out! i am on Earth! 

i am on Earth..

i hurts to be on earth, dad

i know you see what i see, dad

i needed him to howl wildly

in the woods, with me

to remember how to hunt proper

so i could not become prey

when i turned from girl to Woman.

ah,

the lost rites of passage,

the ones we later learn

on our own.

i needed my mama to show me how to move my hips to let the rage rip thru my body 

to hold the pleasure of the stars in my womb

to know the taste of Yes

and the soft voice of 

No

before it turned into a scream

that i would have to purge out of me

so that i don’t age so fast

a bitter hag

cloaked in a young woman body 

some never stop screaming, 

you know?

hear me,

i vow to die with a soft heart